Skipping through all the bad parts of life to go straight to the happy ones sounds pretty nice. Especially if you are in one of those bad periods right now where nothing seems to cheer you up, you just want to sleep all day, and you could care less who is around you.
We all go through these seasons in life. Unlike most physical injuries where people can see them on the outside and track the healing progress with their eyes, it’s hard for people to understand what phase of healing you are at.
The most important thing is healing. Day by day, hour by hour, and even sometimes breath by breath, you have to move on and heal.
Learning to move on
Learning to move on in life is simple to say, but it takes a lot of effort and courage. Maybe you have lost a job, or had to move away from your home, or possibly even had to lose a loved one.
There is no magical answer to how to move on, you just have to find strength. You have to find the strength to say no, or the strength not to pick up that phone, or maybe find the strength to just walk away. It is never easy. We have all had to do it at one point in our lives, trust me it sucks.
But strength only comes with courage. If everything was easy, then you wouldn’t need to be courageous to seek out something better. You see, courage is leaving what is easy, and going after what is hard, something better.
That could be a better life, a better relationship or maybe just a better opportunity. Find your courage to muster up the strength to go after something better for yourself. You deserve it.
It Takes Time
Once the deed is done, all it takes is time.
People think that there is a quick fix, but time is the healer of all wounds. It is amazing how little someone can mean to you after a year away from them. Not that you don’t still love them, but the connection is dead. That spark, that will to go and be with someone, it dies.
Sad as it sounds, it is great. When you finally let go of what was holding you back, you can see the world in a different perspective.
Once you stop missing that which is behind you, you can start looking forward to what is in front of you. You will get those feelings of excitement that once cluttered your head. It will allow you to dream new dreams and set new goals you never even imagined.
Let time do its work, and soon, you will see things you’ve never seen before.
Learn to Trust Yourself
Once time has done it’s work, there is one last step to becoming a new person.
You have to re-learn to trust yourself.
For me, this was learning what I truly wanted. Even though I had some amazing opportunities in front of me or possibly an amazing person to date, I really could not trust myself. I always wondered if it was what I wanted. I would always ask other people I knew, is this what I want?
What do you think about this job?
What do you think about her?
I wanted someone to confirm my thoughts and feelings. Over time this too will come back. You will learn to trust your decisions, one step at a time. It might be on small decisions first, but after some time, the big decisions will seem simple as well. You will know when you know.
No one can tell you when you’re ready, you will just know. It will be like thinking clearly for the first time again. My only advice is to keep growing, keep learning, and always keep moving forward.